Poems of old meet my eyes like fumes. I toss the book aside. I feel as though I’m in God’s waiting room, beached on the banks of the River Life. Time waits for no one, but why? A voice on my mind, but not mine The Gods, entities, deities, forces… Are we all just items in their metaphysical night market, waiting on who haggles and trades for us and our fate? For the purposes of their own entertainment? What the fuck is faith? I’ve been in this waiting room despite constant action to move forward for close to a decade. Time waits for no one. I want freedom, clarity, movement Any sign of life, anywhere. What have I done? Never have I wanted the cookie cutter life Always was I repulsed with the conveyor belt cult I flew away on a mission from my soul with the gift God gave me Was I wrong? Was it all for nothing? Was it a sick game snatched away as soon as I finally neared the warmth of a Rising Sun over and over and over again? Now back here, it is rot. It is the trap I once left, an unrelenting pause with a horizon of fog and question marks. How will you get out of the black hole this time? Is it too late? Is this it? Time waits for no one. May my hands, feet, eyes, mind and heart be steady and vigilant. God’s grace is surely here… I just need rest is all. Still I wonder, will I ever love again?
Author’s Note
Here’s an upbeat, fiesty song to sweeten the palate if that brought you into a dark place.
The song is called Lucky Strikes. Written and performed by me, in collaboration with C. Cordero on the instrumentals and the mixing/mastering of the track.
I’ll leave you with the music video (filmed by me and my friend Raquel in Sarasota Florida) and the Spotify track. Youtube restricted this videos visibility because apparently they take issue with women in balaclavas with baseball bats. Here it is.
This is track number seven on my 9 track debut album, Ghost in the Machine, which you can listen to in full here.
Spotify:
ICYMI:
"The gods are all mad, little pig, we are merely pieces on the board, they play with abandon." A quote from my interpretation of Merlin, to young Arthur.
Remember, yes indeed, the gods are real. Though, they are mad, capricious, duplicitous, selfish...
We cannot trust them.
GOD, however, the creator is another matter.
GOD, is beyond real. HE is not insane or cruel, He is Love.
Will you ever love again?
My friend, why else do you think you are here, alive?
Isaiah 60:22: “… I, the Lord, will make it happen” 💙🙏🤗🥰