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Vivere Est Militare's avatar

Such a profound wisdom here. I am the same way in the aspect of my loyalty is in many ways good but also can be self sabotaging and fatal. I think the self awareness definitely helps break the cycle even if it’s little by little.

Thank you for sharing!

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Tesstamona's avatar

thank you for sharing as well. i did some inventorying on this last night and holy FUCK it blew my mind. absolutely blew my mind to see even deeper into it (referencing my part in it all here) but yes... i keep being returned to that one statement jai dev made in the immersion where he said "awareness is the intelligence" -- this is key!

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Jenna Newell Hiott's avatar

Such deep and profound wisdom here. I'm sorry it was so hard won and I'm glad the reaper came. I think even having the awareness of abandoning the self can help to break the cycle. It's not an easy thing to see. Thank you so much for sharing all of this so vulnerably! ❤️🙏

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Tesstamona's avatar

thank you so much for reading and for sharing these words. It helps a lot. and thank you for contributing what you do here-- i'm very grateful to have found your work. 🙏 🌟 🙏

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Chris Youngblood's avatar

Congratulations on being done and doing the death. May it be your last death. I understand the lethal loyalty all too well. And the co dependency like Novacane. When it comes to letting someone into your life, boundaries are important for both people and if that person won’t respect your boundaries, they don’t respect or love themselves enough to love you. The higher self is absolutely attainable but it takes sacrifice, some loneliness for sure at times but the only way out is through. Letting go of staying with someone or helping someone who has hurt you comes down to sheer will. Rely on that if you weaken. And when it comes to new people who you just aren’t sure about, stay wise as a serpent and innocent as a dove. And be confident in your judgements! You are strong and in tune with yourself. Whenever I think about a psychopath (aka Vampire sucking loosh) getting up in my space two words come to mind, GOOD LUCK.

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Tesstamona's avatar

okay THANK YOU for this entire comment. this is something i'd like to write down and tape to my wall so i see it every morning when i wake up. especially that last part.. GOOD LUCK. and yes... at this point it is a game of willpower and full blown trudging until the final remnants of the delusion/spell continue to fall apart. almost through the tunnel. thank you.

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Nov 26, 2023
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Tesstamona's avatar

uhg this hit heavy. I did NOT know that MANIA was one of the 7 greek gods of love nor did i even know there were 7 greek gods of love. wooooooooo okay. i relate with you sister, thank you so much for sharing. when that spell wares off... feels like we've been on a bad acid trip tbh. much love to you. 🙏

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Nov 26, 2023
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Tesstamona's avatar

oh wow thank you for this im diving into it... becuase that was something I noticed in this relationship. I at first couldn't even identify the feeling it was SO strange, strong enough to stop rage straight in its tracks when I was wrong, I realized it was compassion. But yeah... not the same thing as a reciprocal Love as a verb iron sharpens iron dynamic at all. this is really good information, thank you.

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Nov 22, 2023
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Tesstamona's avatar

thank you friend. May you be blessed as well and empowered on your journey.

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