This Life Is a Hallway Called the Hero’s Journey, Between the Door of the Womb, and the Door of Death. This Is the Story Behind “Grieve, My Love…”

I invite you to enter a space that modern society tries to rob from humanity. May we remember, together:

Still frame image from the Grieve, My Love music video. Filmed last week here in Florida. Videographer credit: Fodor Fotos & Film.

I am shaking right now. Not in a bad way, but I’m doing my best to find words.

This song is an invitation.

It is an invitation to grieve, to love, to remember, to revere. It is an invitation to love more deeply, to remember the sacredness of life and our essence; even though grief — and especially so.

It is an invitation to enter a space for all of us, because not one person on this earth is a stranger to loss - or love.

It is an invitation to enter a space that this modern society, in many ways, tried to eradicate.

Since time immemorial, humanity as a being, as a species, has created time, space, ceremony, and ritual for the honoring of Life, the honoring of The Departed’s entry into the doorway we call Death — beyond the veil.

We know it doesn’t end there.

They say this life is the hallway called the hero’s journey - between the door of the Womb, and the door of Death. We are now in the hallway.

The Departed, we still hear them, just in the other room.

It’s a door we will all walk through, and I believe it’s a door we’ve all walked through before.

This Song Wouldn’t Exist If It Wasn’t For The People of Substack.

My cousin, Corey Meskil, lost his life February 4th, 2024. On February 7th, 2024, I wrote the words that flooded my head late at night at my uncle G’s house. I barely remember doing it. I then forgot about it — that month was a blur, as were the ones to follow.

In June of 2024, I re-discovered the late-night poetic transmission that Corey’s passing triggered. I decided to publish it on Substack as a poem.

When I did, three people commented asking if I’d make that the next song on my album. I took that as a firm confirmation from the Universe. I said yes, and my collaborator (Saw Tooth Wave) and I began the song.

I sat at my piano and the melody came through me. I transcribed it into my digital audio workstation (DAW) and brought that, along with my sung lyrics into the first session with STW. I further organized the poem into song form, added more lyrics, and STW went over my melody and chord progressions with slide guitar, electric bass and drums.

This time, The Message expanded.

This song is for Corey and everyone else we’ve lost in the last 15 years. Best friends, my recovery comrades, my former fiancee and first love, my family. Almost every case has been due to drug overdose, alcoholism, or suicide. They have all been sudden, without warning. The number is way too high.

This song is also for every single person you, the listener, the cosmic human that you are, have loved and lost — whether they are among the departed, or still here.

Still frame from the video. On the dog tags I’m wearing, the Serenity Prayer is engraved. “God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

For those of us still here… how much grief are we carrying around that manifests as self-sabotage, rage, depression, anxiety, isolation, dissociation, and mystery chronic health conditions?

Surely, I am one of them, and I’m willing to bet many of you relate.

Corey’s passing ignited seemingly all the grief within me — which is a gift from him. Once, a friend told me, “God breaks the heart over and over — until it remains open.” So, as hard as it is, I try to not suppress the experience.

This is for everyone.

How lucky we are, to know what it is to love.

How lucky we are, to have existed at the same time.

My former fiance (and first love) passed away October of 2021. His mother is family to me. When he passed, she’d tell us, “our grief is a badge of honor, because it shows how much we loved, and were loved, by him.”

This song is soft. It’s about love. It’s designed to be a sonic salve, a medicine. There’s no cussing in it, and if you know me, you know that’s odd.

I have a lot to tell you. I’ve committed to the patrons who support this publication that one of the benefits of them doing so is: behind the scenes access to creative projects, including hearing music before it’s released.

I am going to share the song here for patrons, so if you are a free subscriber, you’ll see a paywall. I’m also going to share behind the scenes photos and a “debrief” late night audio transmission (podcast?).

For everyone — this song will be released on all music streaming platforms April 29th. The music video will premiere on my YouTube channel that evening at 9 PM EST.

If you are not subscribed to my YouTube channel, please do so here so we can watch the premiere together.

If you’d like to connect with me on streaming platforms like Spotify, Apple Music, or even BandCamp, you may do so here.

To pre-save this song on your platform of choice (which is free and helps the song tremendously as it’s sorted by algorithmic robots) - pre-save “Grieve My Love” here to have the song automatically sent to your streaming platform of choice on April 29th!

Love to you all.

**NOTE** — If you are currently experiencing grief and loss right now and cannot afford a paid subscription, but feel it would be helpful to your healing journey, email me.

Tesstamona at Gmail dot com. Message me here too just in case your email goes into spam.