💎 We have begun to remember...

Dec 12, 2023

Welcome to Part Two. We are no longer in the savage ocean of Grief’s rock bottom. We are no longer in the dark motel room with a pistol in our hands, wondering what to do next. We are here.

We’ve noticed Love. We haven’t quite understood what’s going on yet, and the pain is still great.

Delusions and rose colored glasses are still present, and things are isolating, dark and confusing… but we know one thing:

We feel love, underneath all the pain, and now, at this point, it is stronger than the pain.

This is PART TWO of last night’s article where I responded to a fellow substacker’s question/topic suggestion, pertaining to giving up on love, life, and everything in between. If you haven’t seen that post, you can do so here:

Extracting Medicine from a Skeleton Soul

Tesstamona

December 11, 2023

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I told you I’d move us through the tunnel, so here we go:

We have not lost. We have begun to remember something we can’t quite put our finger on, yet…

We humans can get mighty mixed up when we attach an infinite energy to a mortal being.

We are conduits. Channels. Vessels.

We are not the ALL.

We are part of it, most certainly. But we are not EVERYTHING.

This is the danger in our lack of understanding of love and relationship.

This is why people get suicidal and spiral unbelievably when it comes to matters of a broken heart:

We think that in losing them, we have lost ourselves, because that is how much we instinctually identify with love… because WE ARE LOVE.

That is why we feel we have lost everything. Relationships are mirrors, beautiful dances, and the highest form of Yoga. There are lessons nothing else can teach other than relationships of any kind, but the closest ones, especially so.

Often, relationships can burn in the most chaotic, beyond comprehensive ways… and we feel as though we are dead inside.

This is because we are.

We have died the death of a false self.

If we keep going, and do not seek to numb or distract from the experience we’re having… we will discover that only what is real remains.

We are then reborn.

However, until then, there's still a process like this:

Some of you have heard this song before, but it’s one I wrote when I was in this space.

I knew I felt love, it outlasted the anger and hurt. However, I was still in delusion in thinking it was tied to that person, or about that person. It wasn’t.

Sure, you can find God in a person, and you can love this person. But what I was actually reacting to was the fact that I was capable of loving someone who may not have loved me in the same way, and who certainly betrayed my trust. To know we are capable of loving beyond that tells us it’s not about the person. And for me, to even admit I could love someone, especially publicly in song form, who wasn’t at that moment reciprocating, that was huge growth.

Up until this point, fear and pride would always keep me from disclosing my true feelings, unless I felt the other person displayed “enough” for me to feel safe in doing so. This causes great pain, because you are living a lie, and deceiving both parties.

So, my own falsities had begun to burn away.

This is the second song in the three part series I made about this process.

The first, Everyone’s Favorite Piece of Trash, was shared yesterday with you. This one, the second, is Farewell is Never Forever. You can listen here, or continue reading.

Now, for the brief poetic channeling of being in this in-between phase.

We have gone from “no end in sight and the end is extremely fucking nigh” to… “there’s something else in me that lives on, despite my pain, and that thing is Love”:

We feel we have lost God, lost our lives, lost our purpose.

This is good information.

Something in us is recognizing that LOVE is the truth of our being.

But we are confused in our amnesia, we’re all still waking up and remembering… sometimes I think that’s why we came here…

But we have not LOST ….

We just had a taste of the channeling and experience of LOVE.

And yes, of course that person is attached to it, we loved them.

But just because they are gone, does not mean love is.

Just because they are gone, does not mean our capacity to have a relationship with that INFINITE ENERGY, the Constant, that which ALWAYS lives on… has gone anywhere. It hasn’t.

We just cease to see it… because we mistook the lantern for the flame.

Radical responsibility for the sovereignty and liberation of our heart and soul requires us to show up and find the flame within, the lake within, the Love within.

It’s very painful, and it’s never what anyone wants to hear. But it is the only medicine that truly sets us free.

Once we know how to touch and channel this energy, and embody this energy.. we don’t get confused anymore. We aren’t on a rollercoaster or yo-yo the next time someone else comes along and we feel those feelings again.

We have lost our poverty mindset, when it comes to love, happiness, joy, fulfillment, and purpose.

This is conditioning from the matrix, and sometimes, I believe heartbreak and betrayal are here to break our chains from it… by way of breaking us. Because when we die an emotional death, the falsehoods burn away. Only that which is real remains.